Expectations

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Thomas: Expectations are part of the normal human experience in which all people engage. It is literally impossible to be a self-conscious, sentient being and not hold ideas regarding the future, one's individual future and larger perspectives as well. Expectations, of course, can be on a spectrum ranging from the very negative to the very positive. This continuum depends upon individual factors and varies greatly for each individual. Some people weight their expectations more towards the negative end; others more to the positive end. There is both a characteristic flavor to their expectations as well as variations on a very frequent basis. You build up your expectations as a result of past experience, which is then added to basic dispositional predilection. By this I mean to say that some people are more naturally cheerful, and more naturally optimistic by temperament.  

In addition then to temperament and past experience there is also an often unrecognized third factor, which is the factor called free will choice, or the domain of decision-making. Never is it true that human beings are merely the product of heredity and environment. This erroneous view is continued in your science today, without adequate recognition of free will choice. This then is the origin and characteristics of expectations. We have concluded that expectations are a universal factor of all human experience and that there is great variety due to the interaction of the three basic causes: the temperamental-heredity factor, the experiential history and the decision-making capability.

Now I wish to talk about the pluses and minuses which attend the functioning of expectations in human minds. On the plus side, expectations make it possible to dream and plan bigger and better things, to hope for positive change, to look for the adorable and desirable in your interactions with other people. The drawback to positive expectations is the possibility of disappointment, disillusionment, discouragement. When people set their expectations high for a predicted event and it fails to materialize, disillusionment results. When you set unrealistically high expectations for other people's behavior then you are also in danger of being disappointed, while a pessimistic and negative expectation for another's behavior will almost surely influence that person in the expected direction. It is also possible for an unrealistic positive expectation to result in severe disappointment

In regard to negative expectations we state this position: these are contrary to the Indwelling Spirit's direction. To expect things to worsen is to fail to understand the positive leavening of the Kingdom of God as yeast in bread causing it to rise, as the mustard seed growing into the mustard tree. Evolution is not accidental and spiritual evolution is of the same nature as physical evolution, in an upward purposeful direction. 

Therefor, in the larger sense, negative expectations are out of synchronicity with the leading of your spiritual influences. You see, you have referred to this concept already this evening and it was almost a
happy coincidence that your talk corresponded with our planned session, but we have learned to believe and know that probably such things are not coincidental, that God in his manifold wisdom brings all things together according to his purpose. If your expectations are low and you expect little out of life then you will be rewarded with exactly what you expect, very little in the way of satisfaction and change. And if your
expectations are high you open yourself up to the possibility of attaining them.

One can roughly conceive of three arenas of expectation:

• expectations regarding one's self;
• expectations regarding other people, especially significant others; and
• expectations regarding everything else in general.

The most appropriate arena in which to hold the highest expectations is the arena of personal expectation.
You, with the help of your Indwelling Adjuster, literally determine the extent to which you will fulfill your dreams and goals. At least on the spiritual level this is true. There are no outside influences which can effect spiritual development. Outside influences can influence strongly the course of external events, either in the lives of others or in the general environment, but no handicap of culture, education, race, religion, language, and in normal minded people, mental ability, will stop you, or prevent you, or limit you in your spiritual growth.

In the second arena, expectations you hold toward other peoples, you should be very cautious. I advise you to be cautious in a general manner, that you do not set such high expectations on other people that you forget the realm of free will choice, or overlook environmental factors or ignore temperamental proclivities. Your relationship to other people, in terms of expectations, needs always to be modified by the realization that in the ultimate sense each individual is responsible for themselves.

In the third arena, the environment in general, you do well to employ the technique of science in predicting the outcomes of whatever course of action, whatever concern you have. None of us has access to the mind of God in the sense that we do not know the future before it happens. 

In terms of final outcomes our expectations can be based upon faith, knowledge, and revelation, these mixed together. You will not, until you reach Paradise, dispense with faith. Knowledge will constantly increase, as will revelation. And so, my friends, there will always be a role for the exercise of expectations. 

Bob: Thomas, thank you for those very interesting words. I couldn't help thinking, when you said we should expand our expectations, that this is going to open us up to frustration. What's the role of frustration in all
of this?

Thomas: When I said expand your expectations, I also, in the last part of my talk, noted that they are most appropriately expanded with regard to one's personal future. And even there frustration may occur. Perhaps I ought to say especially there, but that is so variable between people and at different times in a person's life. You see, you must always remember that expectations are not iron-clad guarantees, at least the time-frames do not have iron-clad guarantees. We can make the statement that Earth will reach the era of Light and Life. This is our expectation. We are absolutely certain this is true, but we cannot say it will reach the era of Light and Life tomorrow or the next week thereafter, or the next year, and so forth, because that all depends upon individual free-will decision making. Mortals make the biggest mistakes when they
become over confident in their models of prediction, when they over simplify the variables which feed into the predictive equation, and fail to take into account any number of important factors. When this happens, then the expected event does not occur, and frustration results. The Urantia Book wisely counsels us to reduce the number of expectations we have regarding other people, and thereby reduce our disappointment. It does not give this counsel, regarding oneself. 

Frustration does seem to be prevalent in early stages of civilization. One of the best techniques that I am familiar with, that I have used personally, is what your social scientists now call reframing, meaning the event is reinterpreted in a larger perspective and framework. In the process of reinterpretation the tension between expectation and actuality is often greatly reduced. That which is perceived initially as failure, as tragedy and unmitigated evil can become, upon reinterpretation, a challenge for growth, an opportunity for forgiveness, an experience in learning greater patience, a chance to exercise greater love, and thereby
increase one's soul growth.

When frustration becomes high, then it is time to change one's direction of attention. Stop whatever is causing the frustration whenever its possible, and do something different. That is why we talk about reversion, and diversion, and recreation. A balanced life is one in which there is the proper healthy flow between work and play, rest and worship. Sometimes people have too severe an ego drive toward achievement, and their expectations for how quickly they will accomplish something are very unrealistic.

This can be very frustrating! As one matures, hopefully one becomes more realistic about one's abilities, one's rate of accomplishment, and accepts who they are in terms of these limitations. This is one of the goals of adulthood, to take and modify the flaming passion of youth, which has great dreams and wonderful goals with totally unrealistic understanding of how long-term some of these things might be.

Adulthood, as you gain more and more experience, should result in a more appropriate assessment of one's goals and expectations.

You have been taught that what one expects, one will sooner or later attain. While these words have a ring of truth, there are many exceptions. It is these exceptions which I will attempt to address.  

You have been told that the human mind is a mixture of basically two parts. The basic, the fundamental, the human side is animalistic and derives its nature from the experiences of you and your ancestors. But there is another part which you are now becoming acquainted with, which for lack of a better term I shall call your Spiritual endowment which emanates from your resident Thought Adjuster and is added to from a variety of sources, from those celestial beings which come in and go out of your environment.

You know of many of these: personal teachers, midwayers, angels, and others who, on occasion, become part of your life circle. These individuals, too, have impact upon your spiritual development. When one starts out, basically your animal side is in control and your spiritual side is in the secondary position. As you grow, mature, develop, and gain wisdom your spiritual side grows, matures, and will ultimately take precedence. But this, you know.  

The impact of these two sides on one's expectations is to most of you, anticipatory. You can see how your animal side would flavor one's expectations. Now you are beginning to see how your Godly side affects
one's expectations. With time, with hard work, one will learn how to turn their lives over to God and allow their spiritual side to assume dominance. This process takes considerable time. You are beginning to learn how to allow God to become primary in your life. This process takes considerable time. Even after fusion with your Indwelling Spirit your personality is not completely under control of your spiritual side. You
still have much to learn.

Regarding expectations, as you have been told, one's expectation depends considerably upon your vision. How clear your vision is depends to a great extent on where your heart lies. If your home is mostly human your expectations would reflect that point of view. As your spiritual side grows that development also impacts your expectations. Now let me look at this question from another point of view.  

Suppose you were a flower and limited in your mobility, as flowers are. Your expectations would be few. You would most probably expect water and sun and perhaps a few worries, all the possible things that could happen to you. But let's focus for now on two things: the sun, and your need for water. Without either of those you, as a flower, cannot exist for very long. Both of those are necessary for your growth and maturity. In that perspective your future is dual in nature, as is the human future, subject to two major influences.  

Going back now to the flower example, I suggested flowers may well have fears and anxieties and worries much the same as the human does. Is someone going to run over them and trample them into the ground? Are they going to be decapitated by a lawn mower or lawn trimmer? Is some animal going to make their head his resting place? One can foresee from the human perspective how the flower might have considerable anxieties in its life.

Again the parallel between the flower and the human is clear. The question is, does the flower really have any fears or anxieties or worries? Is its brain developed to the point that it is complex enough to have those?

Those of you who know your biology would say probably not. So, how does the flower escape those expectations, while the human does not? Further, who really is the more advanced being?  

One of the difficulties of advanced evolution is that not everything evolves positively. Some things develop which complicate advanced life forms. While most of you would probably not change places with the flower, most of you enjoy their beauty, their simplicity, their singleness of purpose. But the human animal, while able to see the fulness of life in simpler forms of life, has evolved into a situation where one's complex thinking mechanism gives you choices. I'm sure you would not want to give up your choices. Yet I am sure you now see there are potential difficulties when anyone has choices, namely making poor choices. But that
is another subject. Getting back to the human animal, your expectations are complicated for a reason.  Without difficulties, without problems, without stress, there is no growth.  

Stressors do force the animal to make decisions, some good, some not so good. In either case decision making produces growth, sometimes slow, sometimes faster. But to the extent that stress is a decision making point, it is valuable to the human animal in terms of wisdom production.

Every decision point could well generate other decision points. Those of you who are scientists know that
answering one question often leads to other questions. This is the same thing here. Making one decision often requires follow up decisions, and as such, creates additional stress. Will you ever have a life which is stress free?  

One's ego is fundamentally necessary for one's health. As one develops wisdom, as one evolves, however, old ways must be put aside and new ways substituted. It is this difficulty that humans have with self, or ego. As you mature you begin to realize the goal of ego must be controlled. It must be limited. It must be channeled, much like one's emotions. Emotions add color to life. But if you spend your whole day emotionalizing you would not get any work done. So, stress has a role to play. As you mature, as you reach the level where you are now, you are ready to see what is next: getting better control on those things which do not lead directly to spiritual growth.

As one evolves, that which could not be seen yesterday becomes more clear today. What will be seen tomorrow clearly, is but a blur on the horizon. From this perspective, you see, one's expectations also evolve.

It is normal. It is expected. It is the way life progresses. One can't teach calculus to a second grader. But by the time these students get to high school most are ready. It is the same for all human expectations.

One's expectations today are based on what you learned with yesterday's expectations. And these expectations you made, good and bad, you learned from. Now, it is today and your perspective is different. Your perspective is wiser. Your faith is stronger, not as strong as it will be tomorrow, but stronger than yesterday. So, expectations evolve just as you evolve. Wisdom grows as you evolve and make decisions.  Experience broadens one, opens one's horizons and complicates things.