Fellowship

Ham: What is fellowship? What does it mean to share oneself and to receive the sharing of another?

There are times when your sharing is obvious to you and there are times when sharing is almost unconscious. As you grow in the spirit, you learn to balance this sharing consciously more and more. In interaction there is often one party that shares the most, talks the most, wants the other party to see him and admire him. And, the other party is often more retiring and shares less. You of the spirit must recognize which tendency you have, either to share too much or too little, and start thinking about balance.

Being interested in other people and willing to listen to their sharing is very important. Jesus always listened first before he talked. Then when he knew something about the person, he taught by asking questions and letting that person discover answers for themselves. Many of you have never tried this technique of communication and it would help you to do so.

Others speak too little and are so retiring that it is embarrassing for you to bring yourself to the front and speak in a balanced manner with others. You are all just beginners at the art of relationships and as you grow in the spirit, you will be more and more skilled at bringing forward the spiritual core of an issue
without offending anyone or being embarrassed.

Remember that the majority of the art of communication is listening. People will tell you what they need . If you listen you will be able to give them that. You are all in a period where individual ministry is very important. Where a few well chosen words can change someone's life forever.

There are several ways of meeting another's needs. The most important way is to show interest. Next, is to show love. And third, is to actually impart spiritual food with your words. You may only get to the first part which is interest, you may get to the second part which is showing love or loving concern, but once in a while, you will go through all three and be able to impart spiritual nourishment to one of God's children.

As this week comes up, I want you to all be aware of those three steps and to try and balance out your interactions with others. If someone is not sharing enough and is being too retiring, then ask them questions and draw them out. If someone is being too talkative, too self-assertive, send them love and be patient until the time is right for a few well chosen words. But, always show interest and always show love. Also, you must pray to receive words from the Father that are suitable for his child.

Every person is different and every person's needs are slightly different. You must learn to open yourselves up to the Father's guidance and let him guide what you say. If you will do this, you will begin to perceive that there are many opportunities for you to speak a well chosen word.

Be joyful and interested in all of God's children and you will find that your opportunities for service multiply. Remember that you are each like an angel or a person who has seen the other side and you are brining knowledge of this greater world to those who cannot yet perceive it. What each one of you has to give is wonderful and life changing. 

Question: In trying to determine where we fall individually on the continuum between extroversion and introversion, can we trust our own inner sense of self on that? Do you have any guidance in this regard?

Ham: You can all pretty much see yourselves clearly in this regard.

Question: Can you expand on unconscious sharing?

Ham: Yes, people reveal a great deal about themselves in how they interact with others, more than they mean too I would think. Humans tend to think that their hiding very well behind their shields of bravado or shyness. To the higher beings and to most other human beings these shields are transparent as glass.  When humans interact, they are really unaware of how much they themselves are revealing because they are focused on figuring out the other person. I would say as a general rule people share more of themselves unconsciously than consciously, they are unaware of how much they are revealing.

Question: When you said it, I was seeing that it is possible to be sharing with someone some of these higher qualities we want to exude without speaking them or otherwise indicating them

Ham: Absolutely.

Question: And they can pick it up, is that correct.

Ham: Exactly, yes.

Question:
When talking about the three steps, you said the first was to show interest and the second was to show love. Could you talk about the step between showing interest and love?

Ham: When you feel loving towards your fellow human being, you are accepting of what he is sharing. Love is acceptance and nonjudgment. These things allow the other to share and assure him of your receiving what he has shared. This is what builds trust and confidence and opens him up to receive what you have to share. 

Question: Ham, a lot of communications I have with people amount to people just talking out of control and is it totally wrong to put your hand over their mouth and bring it to their attention that they are not making sense. That happens to me a lot.

Ham: Yes, you have to assert yourself more in conversation, bring yourself up more in a balanced manner rather than always listening and staying in the background.

Question: It's mainly me?

Ham: It's always two in any relationship, but your task is to bring yourself forward more.